Bob was in the egg fertilizing business. He had several hundred young layers (pullets) and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Bob kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Bob's time, so Bob got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Bob could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Bob's favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Bob noticed old Brewster's bell hadn't rung at all! Bob went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Bob's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Bob was so proud of Brewster, he entered him in the county fair... and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded Brewster the No Bell Piece Prize but also gave him the Pullet-surprise as well.

Clearly Brewster was a Democrat. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populous and screwing them?