Bozeman is famous...

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There are a group of us (12 people) that live in California and we e=mail each other everyday about the Bozeman Police Department. Everyday there is something in there that we laugh about, especially the drinking ones. It reminds us of Mayberry. We just cannot believe what people will call the police for. Like the time the police were called because the sister did not make his hamburger right. LOL

Just wanted to let you guys know that we think Bozeman is great.

novveronica
San Bernardino, California
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posted on Wed, Apr 16, 2008 10:01 AM
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Glad we can provide some entertainment bygixa2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
We all have our favorite police reports. Mine appeared about 10 years ago. The police were called to a home to break up a domestic dispute between an elderly couple. The report said they were "arguing about banana bread" and agreed to be separated until they had calmed down.

I chuckle every time I think about that one. I can just picture them going at it.
She: How do you like the banana bread I baked?
He: Did you put nuts in this banana bread?
She: Yes, I like it with nuts.
He: How many times do I have to tell you I can't eat nuts with my dentures?
She: This is my mother's recipe. Mother always put nuts in it.
He: She would.
She: Just what do you mean by that?
has onyone seen that suspicious skunk? bytiredofbeingjudged2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
at least 3 times in the 6 years i've lived here, i've seen reports of 'a suspicious skunk.' i wish they'd put exactly what the skunk was doing to appear 'suspicious.' i also wonder if it's the same skunk..
kudos to the police department, though.
You people from California byArt2 months ago (1 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
You people from California think you can just invade our little discussion group here and make fun of us because we like our hamburgers cooked just so.
This is cattle country and beef is important to us.
Why don't you just stay there, and not move here.
We don't need the likes of you and me, here.
RE: You people from California bydanie0062 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse)
That's tellin' 'em, Art. However, I don't understand your last sentence.
People from Ca byArt2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
Danie006: Well if you understood the first 3 sentences, then 3 out of 4 isn't bad. Rather than explain something that isn't worth explaining, just take the "and me" out of the last sentence.
Wanted to mention to our California friends that someone actually makes a desk calandar with choice entries from the Bozeman Police Reports. Or at least someone did.
My personal favorite byBozmania2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
About 5 years ago there was a police report writer who had a really great sense of humor...the reports are still great, but I loved that writer's way of putting things. Once there was a report about a "Loud chicken reported on the (such-and-such) block of (such-and-such) street". The report went on the say that "The suspect was apprehended" and the matter resolved. I laughed so hard! Seriously, though...I am an expatriate Bozemanite and I often read the reports and wish I still lived in a town where people arguing about hamburgers or getting their wallet stolen off the front seat of their unlocked car still makes the news.
4 Corners byskew2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
I always wonder about the fellow (you see one almost every week) who gets pulled over on a Saturday night in 4 Corners, with the following offenses:

Driving under the influence
Driving with expired tabs
Driving with a suspended license
Driving with no insurance
Driving with no registration

Is there some sort of pentathalon for moving violations? Maybe add in a hit and run, and a pump and drive off, to collect a complete set?

One thing the police blotter has taught me - stay away from 4 Corners on Friday & Saturday night!
police reports bycwrite2 months ago (1 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
Haven't you caught on that the reports are written to entertain.
Someone realized years ago that the rest of the nation enjoyed our version of incidents. Bozeman IS a Mayberry in some ways.
RE: police reports bybecker2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse)
As one of the reporters who has (and still does from time to time) write the reports, I can tell you that sometimes I don't have to do much rephrasing to make them entertaining.

I suspect the cops, when they write out their notes in the public logs, know which ones are winners and make their notes more entertaining -- all so reporters like me will pick that one to include in the paper.

I wonder which ones are their favorites?
Mysterious stains... byellofoto2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
How about the woman on Springhill who used to report that the CIA was shooting laser beams into her windows and stealing her information and what not.. or that her house was being stolen and taken underground... or the mysterious stain on her coffee table which according to the deputy was "most likely coffee."

Anyone remember that? She's my hero. I hope she reads this...
Lost and found bysouthward2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
It wasn't in the police reports, but for a long time there was a classified posted by someone who lost their harnessed pet bobcat at a rest stop. It said "prefers women/children. Likes chicken. $300 or custom elk ivory ring for safe return." Never fails to amuse me, but I wonder if they ever got her back.

Can you imagine giving your kids raw chicken to bait a bobcat for 300 bucks? That ring sounds pretty sweet though. . .
Love it! byBozmania2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
Oh, that's great! I love it. I sure hope that they found that chicken-loving bobcat (is it *legal* to own a bobcat???) before it took care of the loud chicken problem from previous police reports. Protect you poultry, folks! There's a bobcat on the loose! Man, I miss Bozeman. I'd be so happy to trade missing bobcats and mysterious coffee stains for gang threats and kidnappings. Any of you lucky Bozemanites want to trade? Anyone? Anyone?
RE: Love it! byjeh2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse)
Sorry Bozmania, but not on your life! I moved here only a few months ago from Maine and if you think things are quaint here, well, the logs in some of the Maine papers were just as fun -- my favorite was an emu on the loose. Unfortunately, I don't think you can view any of them online (that's how backwards most of Maine still is!). Love it here in Bozeman -- was skiing today, April 20, though we had to earn our turns by skinning up! I think I've moved to paradise!
Aw, man.... byBozmania2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
Bummer. I miss paradise!!! Guys, enjoy it and think of us displaced Bozemanites once or twice when you're walking under the Big Sky. LOL about the emu!
Just wanted to let you know that COPS is considering coming to Bozeman bynovveronica2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
Me and the 12 friends wrote them, they wrote back and "considered" them. LOL
Can you imagine, like yesterday I read that this woman told the police that she does not know where her car is because she was too drunk to remember. LMAO.
Also, I love the street names like "Pony Tail Road", "Skunk Drive" (is there such a name? LOL)
If I ever come to Bozeman, I want to go to the bar, "The Cats Paw". LOL
RE: Just wanted to let you know that COPS is considering coming to Bozeman byBozmania2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse)
LOL I don't think I'd suggest the Cat's Paw...when I was a kid, anyway (maybe it's changed?) that was where all the action that should *really* make the police reports would occur. Love the story about the drunk woman losing her car. Hey, occupational hazard, right?
RE: Just wanted to let you know that COPS is considering coming to Bozeman bysouthward2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse)
The Cat's Paw was on COPS once when an officer was chasing someone down North 7th. The graphic said they were in Helena, but then there goes the Cat's Paw.
Bozeman is not Mayberry... byberrymountain2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
Stop fooling yourselves and other's. Sad part is, there are people who read the paper online, and think Bozeman is really a pristine little town.

Far from the truth. These police reports serve to lure folks to the area who truly desire a crime free, "Mayberry."

That is very sad, because when they finally arrive and live here a while, they'll find out that the county, and state are full of crime and drugs.

You folks think this is funny? It's quite sad. It's also a "put on." Any police department, in any city in the U.S. "could" report similar "funny"
reports made by citizens, but they seldom do, AS THESE REPORTS ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE TRUE PICTURE.

Why are Bozemanite's so willing to PRETEND that what is reported in paper daily, is a true or accurate representation? Because Bozeman is full of people who like to pretend. Voicing the truth would be negative? I guess so. I for one wish the truth was not so, but it is.
RE: Bozeman is not Mayberry... byturquoiserocks2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse)
I went to MSU a few years ago and am moving back soon. I've seen what you're talking about. When I first moved to Bozeman I only saw that sunny facade, but after talking to people born and raised there I came to see what was underneath. Why don't we change it though. I plan on stirring things up when I get back and making Bozeman what we all know it can be. It really is a dream come true to a lot of people. Let's come together and stop big business and fairytales from hiding the truth. Montana really is the "last best place." If it can't be fixed here, than it can't happen anywhere. Remember:
"It's good to be alive in Montana"
Remember the Mom who called? byberrymountain2 months ago (1 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
A mother called the police begging for help and said her children were overwhelming her.

The "genius" 911 Bozeman Police Department told her to find a babysitter!

You all think that is funny? What happens when a mother who desperately needs help, has asked for it, murders her children like that Andrea Yates?

You folks think that "white washing" Bozeman and its inhabitant's is quite funny. That in iteself says alot about those who "laugh" at this stuff.

Ignorance at its finest...
Bozeman is famous bylauraggg2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
My friend works for the sheriff's dept in Riverside County. She says her co-workers and several officers read your police reports everyday They love them And the people of Bozeman. We are jealous...our reports are depressing.

Lighten up Art.....life's to short !!

By the way, my favorite is the lady's motor home that was missing and she reported it stolen a year later.

Bye..your new friend from Riverside county, Ca
Lighting up byArt2 months ago (0 votes) (report abuse) (reply)
OK, lauraggg, I'll try to lighten up. But you might want to look into seeing if they still make that daily calendar of Bozeman Police Reports as a gift to your friend. They had that and sold it at the kiosk in the mall that does calandars around Christmas time. Don't know it they make them or where to get them but they were a hoot.